He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
