FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
