i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i may or may not be watching the land before time
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
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