Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize
