I hate all girls vehemently.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
