you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Mom said you looked used
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
