the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
