I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
