1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I want to stick my p in your. b.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize