I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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