Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
