It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize