I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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