whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
