Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
