Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
