hotel room ftw
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
