I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
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