I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
