Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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