hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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