I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
