I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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