why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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