Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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