whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Randomize
