Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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