Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
