This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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