I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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