Whod you bang
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
