i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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