Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
