The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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