i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
