Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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