clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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