I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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