I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
This baby is an asshole
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize