last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
