In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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