Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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