he puts the penis in happiness.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
