just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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