it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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