it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
