I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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