I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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