This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
