I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
You pole danced in your parka.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Your penis caused this!
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
