I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize