Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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