why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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