so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize