we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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