my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
