i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
