What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
