How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
