It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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