Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Randomize
