Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm having to shit out rocks
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize