I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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