did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
