i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
