Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
