Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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