So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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