Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
