i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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