"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
