Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
