Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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