There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize