very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
